a hiatus

One of my biggest debates here recently - apart from having time to blog properly - is what to blog about. As often by the time I find a convenient space to sit down and sort through my photos (and thoughts), I often feel the time has passed to share about that, and I'm on to something new.

(handpainted frieze, visitor centre, Rowardennan)

And then there is the matter of identity. Who or what am I portraying or 'subjecting' through my blog. As Jane recently highlighted the question of authenticity is certainly one for consideration. As of course it is natural to want to share the highlights of our days - you won't want to hear about the dreary bits. At the same time, as I feel my mind wander off into this corner of the debating ring... I wonder what is this blog about? And then when I decide it can be whatever I want it to be about, I feel a little dismayed at my own when I see other tightly designed, colourful and creative blogs - that mine isn't like that. But then these are the blogs I like to read - whereas the things I like to blog about are my roamings, observations, some design things, who's been visiting the garden and what I have been creating - the creative process even.

(carved stone panel, visitor centre, Rowardennan)

And in that way I eventually come back to the Patchwork Dress - that life is made up of little things all stitched together. So now, that I have had a hiatus in my work for one week I have a garbled list of things I want to share.. Wondering if these would be better structured as individual posts, or being authentic and streaming them as they happened. All muddled together and patchworky in style.

(monument, Ben Lomond Memorial Park, Rowardennan)

So firstly, after trying to arrange this all summer, my mum came to visit for a couple of days.

(beach at Rowardennan, Loch Lomond)

We had a couple of outings to lovely places driving through the local countryside, lunching at Doyles in Balfron before going up to Rowardennan and Balmaha. But my most enduring memory of her trip will be us both sitting at the worktop infront of my kitchen window, perched on wooden stools, watching the birdlife as we ate our breakfast.

(Falls of Dochart, Killin)

Other highlights were my thoughts about crows and corvids...triggered by reading this book (another thank you to Jane!). As both lunches we had out in villages coincided with the local schools emptying onto the pavements, and for a moment challenging the ruralness of it all with spikey hair and emo attitude. Once the kids had headed back to the school, a clear up team of corvids came in - perched on lamp posts and roofs to swoop down on leftover baguettes (Balfron) or chips (Aberfeldy). My excitement in noticing this arrangement caused the chip I was eating in the window of a nearby cafe to fly out of my hand and into my drink. Not only will we not be eating there again (Suz, you will know the cafe I mean, with the grumpy cafe woman "there is not an egg on the premises" - when I enquired if they had any eggs) - but I probably wouldn't be allowed back.

(looking out to the lovely 'Homer' interiors shop, Aberfeldy - from the Watermill bookshop/café - we loved this begonnia, and how it matches the red of the sign!)

Anyway, back to the book - I was also excited to read that corvids, as well as some other birds, including tits, have a 'cache' behaviour of hiding their food. I had noticed several months ago that the coaltits in the garden were taking seed from the feeders and flying directly to the border of the garden and pushing the seed into the grass or flowerbed. This happened again recently, and I really wanted to get a better look. I was sure they weren't eating it, as they literally flew back and forth doing this, without the time it would normally take to eat the seed. So I was really pleased to read about this and that I hadn't imagined the phenomena. It got me thinking about birds and how one of their jobs (if you excuse the pun) are as major seed dispersers. That somewhere in their makeup this behaviour is related to their relationship to the seeds - by cache-ing, they are infact planting. This may not be uncommon knowledge to those in the know, but I was really pleased to have observed and learned this first hand from my (now favourite) little bird with its everton mint striped head.

In between our sojourns into the countryside I also had to squeeze in some work which was leftover from my last contract. Making up German Codebooks which had been used before and then later during the first world war. I had done some research and managed to track down a codebook from 1910 in the National Archive. For a small fee they will digitally scan and email you images. I then 'mocked' up the stickers based on the front cover which we added to some second hand books.

I also made up some individual books based on the code pages. I really enjoyed doing this, printing onto cream Conqueror paper and then binding them by hand. A technique I'd practiced a bit doing the little books in this post. So now I can see that those skills I gain in either camp of making for myself, or my job, can cross pollinate - or using the coaltit analogy - cacheing the seeds in this blog. There is something quite pleasing and fascinating about the bookmaking process, and I'm inspired by the idea of doing more pieces like this, - I'm not sure what yet.

The strangest thing however was, after telling mum that I'd maybe have to spend an evening while she was here doing these, I switched on radio 4 and there was a comedy drama being aired where the first item was all about German codebooks. We both stood there with our eyes widening. Ah, coincidence, that warm feeling that perhaps I am, after all, doing the 'right' thing.

(more time spent like this, please!)

Comments

[m]

Caireen thanks for your lovely comments on my blog. I love Homer too ! I visit a herbalsit near Aberfeldy and use the excuse to pop in there.

Its fascinating or complicated what we present via our blog or even our comments. I'm pretty forth right like to get stuck in and then wonder if I should be more circumspect as my blog is sort of connected to my work... and I've also re read blogs I've written during truly horrendous periods of my life and been struck by how I've avoided mentioning any of the inner turmoil. On the otherhand a blog is sometimes a bit of oh look at this and this and that so they do often miss the overall picture by their very nature.

[suzanne]

I have been mulling over the very same questions about blogging and authenticity - it is a tricky one. I don't think that it is 'dishonest' as such to leave out all the c**p things that happen in real life but at the same time I have to say the overly slick, colour co-ordinated blogs make me a little queesy sometimes. I think at the end of the day everyone blogs for different reasons, self expression being one of them and it is up to each individual to decide what their subject matter will be and how they will present it. The time spent with your Mum sounds lovely! Hope that you are enjoying a well earned restx

[sallyanne]

Ha, I too have been thinking about ALL these things and have come to the conclusion that observations, and little snippets of every day life, random thoughts, books read, things made and of course photos all help to make up our blogs and we are sharing a little bit of who we are. I have also noticed that since I started my blog, I have become so much more aware, and life experiences seem more acute somehow.

[ginny]

blogging is something we all do for different reasons.... sometimes i like to share thoughts, images or things i have been up to. Other times i feel i have nothing to say or share so i am quiet. Our lives as you say, by their nature are a patchwork (i love this analogy) and although many of us don't share the c**p bits we all know we have them. Some use blogs as an escape.. to look for the beauty and to forget about the harder things in their lives... other use them as a release for emotions.. perhaps to rant or sound off... others wish to give a behind the scenes personality to their business along with room for debate. I think being ourselves is important... after all that is all we can be. We are all so very different yet can inspire and share and connect with each other in diferent ways. I love your blog for many reasons. Most of all your take on life, your observations, your questionning and your thoughts. it is nice to see other layers of you in your work too. I would miss you if you weren't here and one day i look forward to seeing a film you have written.
goodness i have written an essay... much of which is pretty obvious to most anyway!
p.s. i think blog post styles can and need to change as we all evolve it seems natural as a reflection of ourselves and our lives.
warmest wishes
g x